I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
