I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
