dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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