This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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