It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
