I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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