genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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