Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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