Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dicks are not precious.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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