so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize