omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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