Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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