she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They took my balls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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