we have officially lost it.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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