i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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