I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
