i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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