I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
