ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
