O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize