it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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