you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Pooping to opera.
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