R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm jealous of your bromance
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
