Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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