Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
