if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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