help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize