i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
