shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i already hear my dad disowning me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
