you would pick up someone in the library
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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