I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think my moral compass just broke
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
