I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
