I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We're not piercing ourselves today.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
