it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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