Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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