I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
