youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
