But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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