I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
