I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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