I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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