I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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