Me. At least after what I've been through.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
