I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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