With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize