I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
