where am i from again
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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