I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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