I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
