Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm sobbing to NWA
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
