if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
