there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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