My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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