Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
