I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
