I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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