clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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