Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
