Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
