I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
