16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
