have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
